The Yearning in the Agent
by n.jones
Summary: Seeley Booth might have spent the last few months in the daze of denial but upon the recent events he has to face some major truths. Set during his little alone time in the diner in 6x11 The Bullet in the Brain.


**Seeley Booth might have spent the last few months in the daze of denial but upon the recent events he cannot help but face some truths. Set during his little alone time at the diner in 6x11, The Bullet in the Brain. Reviews are very appreciated.**

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As Temperance Brennan walked out of the diner to escort her father to the cab and Caroline also excused herself and left, Seeley Booth could finally indulge himself the guilty pleasure of watching, pointedly and openly, his partner through the blinds. There was no one around to call him on it, and for that, he was infinitely grateful. He knew he would be too exhausted to come up with an answer to Sweets' meddling questions or deflect the knowing looks passing between Max and the federal prosecutor. But he also knew that after this hell of a day, tearing his eyes away from her just wouldn't be an option either.  
Because he had his life set up on this woman, even though by now he lost his last ounce of chance to be with her, and he just wanted to, no, he needed to bask in the feeling of guilt and longing that now overtook him everytime he was around her.

God knows, how little he allowed himself these days. How he's taught himself to avoid her, to refrain from touching her, to stop sharing confidances and private jokes and post-case drinks with her in order to remain loyal to Hannah. And he would, he would. Because he moved on and things had to change.

But during the last few days when the shit hit the fan and the courthouse square got the exciting new color of "hint of brain" by Taffet's exploded head and he was later forced to chase his old army friend down the line, got blown up, shot at and found gruesome corpses in bathtubs - and he couldn't even get the right chronological order listing this, he finally realized it.  
The cases, his sniper past, his gambling problem, the cosmic balance sheet, even his drunk father and wayward brother, hell, even being a good father to Parker, it all made sense because of her. She was the one that made things better, kept the universe in order for him. Her near-brutal honesty was the one thing he could count on, when everyone seemed to be deceiving him. Her irrefutable logic made him feel the world wasn't a place blurry of lies, violence and hate. Her faithful companionship, the way she's been nothing but supportive of him even now when she wasn't getting anything in return, these were the only things keeping him sane all these years.  
And now.

_Oh, Bones, Bones, Bones. What would I do without you._  
_A groundbreaking question there, Seeley._

For a few moments, a wave of self-disgust washed over him. He did everything in his power to antagonize her and yet, she prevailed and he needed her more than ever.  
He's been acting like a jerk towards her.

And there she stood outside, her back to him, with something in her hand that looked like a conch shell. She slowly pressed it to her ear - it was a conch shell allright. Booth saw Max smile a very fatherly smile. He imagined Brennan's lost little girl expression that always made his heart clench. Because the woman wasn't just his only mainstay in the world, oh no.  
She had to be Goddamned adorable as well.  
So lovable, Booth made a point to hate her for it after he came back from Afghanistan.  
But that was over, he finally decided. He might have settled for another woman and he'll keep to his word, too. Nevertheless, nothing and absolutely no one shall be able to stop him from taking care of Bones again. He would protect her, be there for her. Watch out for her from afar just like now. And all the while he would marvel at her perfection. From a distance,  
of course. Then he would go home to Hannah, make love to her. Forget about Bones.  
No.  
How would that be fair.  
It was all too late to do anything about this mess, fuck it. He was presented with a flare of opportunity to claim Bones as his own but he passed on it and now he planned everything with Hannah. And Hannah deserves his full devotion, everything he can give to a woman. Whatever right he had or felt he had to be the sole protector of his partner, is long outdated. As a matter of fact, he wasn't even supposed to stare at her like that.

_Regrets, regrets._

Max finally got into the cab and Booth watched as Brennan's hand lingered on the car door as they said goodbye. She half-turned to his direction as she put the shell to her ear once again, half-smiling. Booth took her all in for the last time, mesmerized, before looking away.

By the time Temperance Brennan entered the diner again, her partner was on the phone, making dinner reservations for himself and Hannah Burley.


End file.
